Hits and Misses

My first "hit" of the year was the very first essay we wrote about the Bean Trees. I was especially proud of this because it was my first essay of the year and it still turned out well. I think this was a hit because of the tone and voice.

Analysis of Decisions in The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver

              In life, humans make choices. Humans choose what they wear, what they want to do with their hair, what they want to give their attention to, or even larger decisions like where they want to go to college. The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver contains many decisions, some relatable and some not. But, nearly all of the decisions made in this book were created by one initial decision: the decision to leave the small town of Pittman.

              Many people seem to think that Taylor decided to leave because she did not want to have a child. They then laugh, because Taylor found herself holding a baby April, alias Turtle. This is incorrect. Taylor left because she did not want to fall victim to what she considered the standard way of life in Pittman. That way of life happened to include having a child. As for Turtle, Taylor stopped at a gas station, and that gas station contained Turtle. It was, in fact, Taylor’s decision to keep the baby.

              Although she achieved her goal of finding a new way of life and consequently a new life, Taylor found herself dealing with some different troubles along the way. Lou Ann was in a constant state of worry, Angel left and did nothing to help, and Esperanza and Estevan needed to be taken somewhere safe. However, these were not anything that would hamper her from continuing forward, as Lou Ann could be temporarily alleviated and Angel was nearly a distant memory. Esperanza and Estefan were taken to the reserve without a hitch, and she managed to keep custody of Turtle.

              She also received some good consequences. She found two new best friends, Lou Ann and Mattie, and she had a steady job at the repair shop. She was able to provide for herself and Turtle, and she was happy. No, life was not perfect, but Taylor accomplished more than her goals. Taylor kept moving, and kept making decisions, Taylor seemed to know that she must make decisions all the time, and that she could not let them hinder her, and that allowed her to live a happy life.  

The second "hit" of this year was my personal narrative. Below is the unrevised version of the essay, for this was the one I chose to revise. This was a hit because I just feel like I did a good job with this essay. I focused on what I was told to focus on (vivid imagery, voice, etc).

              “It’s Okay.”

            “Why do you keep ignoring me?” I scream. My friend and I are alone outside of Foster Hall on a rainy day in April.

“I’m not ignoring you!” he yells back. It’s a situation that can only be described as the ultimate cliché. It could be a movie scene in The Notebook.

“Yes, you are! And it’s always around your other friends! Are you afraid I’m going to embarrass you?” I can’t even tell if I’m crying or if the rain is just falling on my face. “Look, all I’m saying is that you should rethink saying someone is your ‘friend’ when you don’t talk to them.”

And then I storm off, shaking with anger. The next day, I see him outside of English. Staring at his feet, he says, “I know I haven’t treated you right. But I want to try and fix this. I’m really sorry, Laura.”

And I say, “It’s okay.”

It’s not okay, but I’ll forgive him anyway.

Then, a summer later, we’re outside of Foster Hall after school again. It’s raining again, but this time, he is angry instead of me. Now it’s a scene from The Best of Me. I can’t even tell if he’s crying or if it’s just the rain falling on his face. “Laura, you lied! I trusted you with everything and you said you trusted me but you didn’t! You should rethink calling people your ‘friend’ when you don’t trust them.”

And so he storms off, shaking with anger. The next day, I find him outside of English. Staring at my feet, I say, “I know I lied, but I want to try rebuild our friendship. I’m really sorry.”

And he says, “It’s okay.”

Even though it’s not okay, he forgave me anyway.

We have fought over many things besides these, some petty and some serious, and I sometimes wonder how we have managed to remain amiable with one another. But, I suppose that the level of forgiveness we have had to maintain is what defines the friendship that means so much to me. It is a bond that has lasted through more weight than it should have to, and yet it remains stronger than ever. Any other bond would have broken. It is a safety net, of sorts. No matter what happens, I will always know that I have this friend when I need him.

Yes, I do sometimes wonder what will happen if the weight becomes too much for us to bear, and it separates us. But I do not think it will. We know each other far too well. When he is angry, he becomes passive-aggressive and I know to apologize and try and give him some space. When I am angry, I go into conniptions and he knows to let me yell at him and I’ll get over it soon enough. It’s not perfect; it never will be, but I have stopped obsessing over making it so. So we fight more than most friends do. So what? What matters is that we are there for each other, and always will be. It’s simply that we forgive, forgive, forgive. We forgive quickly even when we do not forget quickly.

Forgiveness. That is something I have taken from this friendship that will never go away despite what may happen with the friendship itself. I have learned to let things go. I have learned that I should forgive because sooner or later I will do something that requires forgiveness.        No matter what happens, I must forgive.

Finally, my last hit was the Purple Hibiscus paper. This wasn't a hit in terms of grades, because I don't know that yet, but it was a  hit because I used feedback from some of my misses to do a good job.

Mere I Mmehie?: An Analysis of Sin and Repentance in Purple Hibiscus

At the beginning of Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Kambili sees sin as doing what her father views as wrong. But as she moves outside of her sheltered life, she begins to grasp a new idea of what sin really is. Kambili realizes what sin and its repentance should look like when she spends time with Papa Nnukwu, sees Obiora get punished, and when she sees the reactions of Aunty Ifeoma and Amaka to her father’s cruelty.

Kambili realizes that spending time with her grandfather, whether he is a pagan or not, should not be viewed as a sin. Before Kambili goes to Nsukka, and at the beginning of her time there, Kambili is afraid to be around her grandfather because she believes him to be a “heathen,” saying, “‘I sleep in the same room as my grandfather. He is a heathen,’ I blurted out” (175). Papa has ingrained the idea that Papa Nnukwu is a heathen to the point where Kambili knows nothing else. Father Amadi challenges this idea later in this conversation when he says, “Why do you say that?”/” It is a sin.”/” Why is it a sin?” (175). Kambili is so unused to disagreeing with her father that she cannot even continue the conversation. This is one of the first steps towards Kambili’s independence. Finally, Kambili realizes that she should not consider her grandfather a “heathen” when she watches him pray. She thinks, “I was surprised that he prayed for Papa with the same earnestness that he prayed for himself or Aunty Ifeoma” (168). This is the moment in which Kambili understands that in the end, Papa Nnukwu prays for the same things that Papa does. He says, “I have killed no one, I have taken no one’s land, I have not committed adultery.” These are a part of the Ten Commandments. She realizes that he is just trying to do good in the world, and harm no one.

Kambili understands that her father’s choice of punishment is not right when she sees Aunty Ifeoma punish Obiora. After Obiora talks back to Aunty Ifeoma’s friend, Aunty Ifeoma spanks Obiora once: “I heard the thud of a slap and Aunty Ifeoma’s raised voice.” Kambili’s experiences with punishment have been repeated hits, whether it has been Jaja, Mama, or herself. The concept of one hit, and one hit only, is something foreign to Kambili, and she realizes that this is what typical household punishment should look like. Similarly, Aunty Ifeoma did not just hit her children. She would explain to them why they were punished, unlike Papa, who would just hit his kid and expect them to know what went wrong. She sees this when Amaka says, “Afterwards we would talk about it for hours. I hated that. Just give me the lashes and let me out. But no, she explained why you had been flogged, what she expected you to do to not get flogged again. That’s what she’s doing with Obiora.” When Kambili sees Obiora’s punishment, she seems shocked. Shocked that this punishment, something miniscule compared to what she had been through, was on the rougher end of Aunty Ifeoma’s punishments. Amaka and Kambili both know that this is different. We see this when Kambili says, “She did not speak, but I felt as though we were thinking the same thing- how different it was for Jaja and me.” This shows that in every way, Nsukka is different from Kambili’s house. Kambili is used to being attacked with a belt if she utters one wrong word, and in Nsukka being disrespectful only warrants one slap. 

When Aunty Ifeoma and Amaka realize how Papa is treating his children, they immediately become concerned. For the longest time, Kambili is completely unaware that what her father is doing is wrong. When Chima asks about Jaja’s little finger, Aunty Ifeoma knows what is wrong but says he “had an accident” (145). This hiding of the abuse shows that it is not okay and that it is not something everybody does. Furthermore, although we do not see it directly, Amaka is upset that Papa had done this. She says, “‘It was Uncle Eugene who did that to you, okwia?’ she asked… ‘Yes. It was him.’ I said, and then headed for the toilet. I did not turn to see Amaka’s reaction” (220).  At this point, Kambili has figured out that abuse is not commonplace in society, and does not want to see Amaka appalled. 

Although physical repentance of sin is seen many times throughout history, it is not accepted now. Kambili realizes this through her aunt and cousins, learning that repentance is not what is done to you to make you learn, but how you learn things yourself.

The first "miss" I had during this school year was the Literary Analysis. That was awful. For some reason, I just could not make that paper work. I threw a bunch of quotes on the paper and just expected people to but two and two together and get zero. I think I may have been a little too adventurous when I tried to do both quotes from The Lord of the Flies and the Bible.

The second "miss" I had this year I'm going to have to say is the Research Paper. I don't actually think that this was that much of a miss, but it was definitely on the lower end. I still struggled with throwing evidence on the page and not explaining it.

The third "miss" of this school year  was the poetry writing we did in class. I did not like that. I cannot think of rhymes of the top of my head and my poems just sounded like prose with a lot of line breaks.